they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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