i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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