just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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