the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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