lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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