Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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