wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
