I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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