Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
