I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
