know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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