I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
