we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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