my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
