3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
