it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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