that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize