i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
