I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
