Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
