Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He did a backflip because drugs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
