I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
