garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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