I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
