I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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