You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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