talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
