I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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