In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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