i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
