you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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