i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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