If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
