I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you would pick up someone in the library
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
