Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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