So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
