You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
