Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize