she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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