Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
