shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
