literally had 100 drinks last night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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