singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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