you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
