is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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