I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
