we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize