"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dicks are not precious.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
