I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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