Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
