in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
