She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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