just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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