My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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