I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
