I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
