if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
